63. Wait Time

When you ask a child a question, and you don’t seem to be getting an answer, it’s seems natural to deduce that the child doesn’t know the answer. Rather than prolong the agony, you quickly ask someone else, provide the answer yourself, or change the subject. Part of that reaction may be concern about the child’s self-esteem. Part of it may be vicarious anxiety. You
remember how hard it was for you when you didn’t know an answer, and you assume that this child is going through the same ordeal. I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt. There are also some who would have other, less gentle responses.
But there is another response teachers are using nowadays. A new kind of patience, based on recent findings about the way children learn. A child may take several seconds to process a question, and several more to retrieve the words necessary to answer. The final product may be as good as, or better than someone else’s answer. We call it “wait time.” Like all discoveries about children’s learning, there are probably a few insightful people who knew it all along, but for most of us, life is a “Jeopardy” game, where the winner is the one who answers correctly before anyone else has time to think.
This pattern continues into adult life. There are times in anyone’s life when answers don’t pop out as quickly as they do at other times. Early childhood and old age are the two legendary such times, but there are other times when it takes a little longer to figure things out. And there are differing personal styles. Some people’s brains are crockpots, some are microwave ovens, and most are somewhere in between. But there are too many situations where the early bird catches the worm, flies off, and leaves the late bird scrounging around for leftovers (I hear Mr. Dunlap, my eleventh grade English teacher, telling me to stop mixing metaphors. He’s right. I’ll stop).
So when you ask a child, “What is seven times eight?” or “Do you have any homework?”, a delayed response may not indicate that the child doesn’t know, or is trying to get out of answering. Wait a while. At first, waiting can be hard. It’s not common practice, and it may not feel right at first. But it may be exactly what a child needs, and the result may pleasantly surprise you.

Similar Posts

  • 367. Greener Grass

    Did you ever find yourself wishing your children or parents were more like some other children or parents you’ve seen? We’re not supposed to think that way. We’re supposed to appreciate the people we’ve already got, and if we compare at all, our family is supposed to compare favorably. We’re supposed to feel lucky that…

  • 339. The United Front

    Adults sometimes disagree with each other about how to raise children. If they don’t have the same children, their disagreements don’t have to cause problems. Or if they’re good at communicating, they can usually work it out. It’s a good idea for two adults to come to some understanding before starting to raise children together,…

  • 618. Elizabeth

    One day, I was sitting at the playground near where I live. In good weather, when school is out, I spend a lot of time at that playground. Most of the children who play there know me by now, and so do their parents, who know that it’s okay to do some work inside while…

  • 68. “Good with Kids”

    Sometimes a person is said to be “good with kids.” I think the phrase implies some special talent or insight. A friend suggested that I write an article examining what makes people “good with kids,” and I searched my soul for “the” answer. I thought about my childhood, and tried to remember whether there were…

  • 362. Sibling

    I’d like to add a verb to the English language: “sible.” There already is “sibling,” which can easily be used as the present participial form of the verb and still be used as a noun when necessary. “Parent,” after all, became a verb during my lifetime, so there’s a precedent. And I’m not seriously worried…