618. Elizabeth

One day, I was sitting at the playground near where I live. In good weather, when school is out, I spend a lot of time at that playground. Most of the children who play there know me by now, and so do their parents, who know that it’s okay to do some work inside while I stay with the children, and also know that it’s not a good idea to go too far, for too long, or leave me with too many children; I can’t do much to help children who are in physical danger, and I don’t have a lot of energy.
Usually, I spend most of my time on the playground relating with children, but this time, I just watched. It’s not that I was unusually tired; it’s just that things were going so well that I couldn’t think of a better thing to do than just watch. Two of the children were busy making a mankala game on the ground so that one could teach the other how to play it, and three were playing by a bush. The playground had the kind of atmosphere effective teachers strive for and often achieve. So I sat there and let it be.
Then Elizabeth came out. She was younger than the other children, and I worried that there could soon be trouble in paradise; she didn’t seem to want to play alone, and though all the children there would have tried to avoid hurting her feelings, neither group looked eager to include her. Neither mankala nor the conversation and activity by the bush was right for Elizabeth.
She stood still for a moment, sizing up the situation. I think she knows that her oldest sister, Hannah, one of the mankala-players, is good at finding ways to include her. But I sized up the situation, too, and though mankala is fairly easy for children to learn, I thought Elizabeth’s presence would probably make it harder. So I asked Elizabeth to show me what she could do on the swing. Right away, her face lit up, and she started to play on the swing, leaving all the other children to go on about their business. What could have been a difficult time for Elizabeth and/or other children ended up being fun for everybody.
The next day I was wrestling with a decision that had been plaguing me for weeks: should I go to the New England Folk Festival, where I’ve had fun every year, but where I’ve worn myself out a little more each year, or should I be wise and stay home? If I went, I’d have so much fun, and see so many friends I don’t get to see much. But I’d exhaust myself – something people with MS should avoid doing. On the other hand, if I stayed home, I might spend the weekend feeling really sad.
Then I thought about Elizabeth. What she’d done had kept her spirits high. She hadn’t done what she had decided to do at first; she hadn’t joined the mankala game. She could have obsessed on that and felt terrible. But with my guidance, she’d decided to do something that had more potential to make her feel good. And with that in mind, I’m not going to the New England Folk Festival, and I’m not going to feel miserable about not going. Instead, I’ll focus on the good times to be had here at home. Thank you, Elizabeth.

Similar Posts

  • 230. The Night Sky

    One year, I took a course about the night sky. I’d always been fascinated with the dazzling display up there every clear night, but I hadn’t taken any astronomy courses in college, because the course descriptions made them sound like advanced physics courses that had little to do with the view. Instead, I later enrolled…

  • 417. Children as Friends

    When I first started teaching and parenting, I kept hearing the message that teachers and parents should not try to be “pals” to children. I didn’t like that message. I didn’t like the way people said the word “pals,” and I didn’t understand why they didn’t use the word “friend,” nor what was wrong with…

  • 578. Lecture

    When people think of teaching, they often think of someone standing in front of a bunch of people and talking. I guess one of the reasons that image is so common is that the last years of many peoples’ schooling involve a lot of lecturing. Teachers in the upper grades and in college often spend…

  • 24. Reading Buddies

    Margaret Mead described an aspect of Samoan culture that seemed downright utopian: growing up without adolescence. Children helped to raise their siblings, and the various traumas of pre-adolescence and adolescence didn’t happen. There was no niche in the culture for it. I caught a glimpse of that utopia when I saw “reading buddies” at work…

  • 5. Teaching Disabilities

    Jonathan Kozol once coined the phrase “didagenic learning disabilities” – learning disabilities caused by ineffective teaching. He borrowed the concept from the medical world. An iatrogenic disease is one caused by a doctor. I think these terms can be useful. I don’t think people become teachers in order to prevent children from learning, but we…